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I Am A Master And You!, also known as Now Wait a Minute! Who Is That!? or Chop Chop Forever!, is the first stage of Um Jammer Lammy, in the chapter "Now Wait a Minute! Who Is That!?"

Stage Composition[]

I Am A Master And You! is in E minor at 224 BPM

Chapter[]

Plot[]

The chapter begins with Lammy running down the corridor to her show, explaining that she was late because she had a stomach ache and went to the bathroom, but there was a long line at the gas station, and the four familiar faces waiting there had offered to rap for it, but Lammy declined.

She finally makes it to her show, just as Katy announces MilkCan's new vocalist, Chop Chop Master Onion. Katy passes Lammy her guitar, which she catches shortly after. After the show, it is revealed that Lammy had been holding a vacuum cleaner instead of her guitar. Embarrassed, she asks Chop Chop Master Onion what to do, to which he asks her what she's afraid of. She tells him about her guitar, and he explains that he had lost his Dojo, but it still remains in his mind, and has a casino. He reassures her that she has nothing to lose.

Transcript[]

To view the transcript, click on the [Show] tag on the right.

Lammy is seen opening the door and rushing down the hallway.

Lammy What should I tell them?? I had a stomach ache so I went to the bathroom... but there was a long line at the gas station... I told them it was an emergency... but they said:

Chop Chop Master Onion, Instructor Mooselini, Prince Fleaswallow & Cheap Cheap LET'S RAP FOR IT!!!

Lammy Nahhh... good, I made it...

She finally makes it to the end of the hallway, and leaps onto the stage, dropping her guitar in the process.

Lammy Hmmm, who's that?

A tall figure stands in the center of the stage.

Katy ...and here's out new vocalist, Chop Chop Master Onion!!!

Lammy Now wait a minute! Who is that?!

Katy throws Lammy her guitar.

Katy Lammy, here!

Lammy catches it with a confident expression on her face.

End of Level Transcript[]

To view the transcript, click on the [Show] tag on the right.

The crowd leaves. Lammy's face reddens with embarrassment.

Lammy Wa-wa-wait! Everybody wait! Oh, what should I do?

Chop Chop Master Onion What are you afraid of?

Lammy Well, look at my guitar!

Chop Chop Master Onion Guitar? Listen.

The destroyed Dojo appears behind Chop Chop Master Onion.

Chop Chop Master Onion I lost my Dojo.

A thought bubble appears, and within it, the Dojo is fully repaired and surrounded by kotamanegi.

Chop Chop Master Onion But, the Dojo remains IN MY MIND. It even has a casino!

The camera zooms into the Dojo and reveals a large casino surrounded by more kotamanegi.

Chop Chop Master Onion Dojo, casino, it's all in the mind.

Chop Chop Master Onion starts spinning on a giant roulette wheel.

Chop Chop Master Onion You have nothing to lose!

Stage[]

The song takes place on a large, wooden stage with carious colored spotlights at the edge. More spotlights can be seen on the ceiling, and on the back wall is a large "MilkCan" sign.

Mode Differences[]

Cool: Chop Chop Master Onion will kick all of the walls and ceiling off the room, which is a flashback to Stage 1: Chop Chop Master Onion's Rap in PaRappa The Rapper.

Bad: The screen starts getting wavy and the instrumental will start to echo a bit.

Awful: The screen gets even wavier and the echoing gets even worse.

Lyrics[]

To view the lyrics, click on the [Show] tag on the right.

Chop Chop Master Onion
Kick! Punch! You all remember!
Chop chop back again, yes, forever!
You have many challenges comin' at ya!
First is a fire, don't retire, now!
Pick!
Burn!
Slide!
And down!
Again now!
Pick!
Burn!
Slide!
And down!
Listen to me now as I do my chore!
Nobody ever talks to me no more!
But if a baby were to come, crying out loud,
Do you think you can play and calm it down?
Or if you're on a plane, how would you play?
Throttle up and down, or away?
I just wanna know, can you really go,
With that guitar in hand, I don't know!
Comin' at ya!
Fly high!
Sky high!
Cry loud!
Shut up!
Fly, cry!
Pick, burn!
Pick, cry!
And fly, down!
Shake it to the right, shake it to the left!
I be the only masta that will give
All the necessary skills to build a guitar,
So you can play in hell, you come far!
Chop, that wood!
Choke, real good!
Pick, chop, burn!
Cry, fly, choke!
Burn, cry, slide!
Chop, pick, fly!
Choke, fly, pick!
Cry, chop, down! Ha ha,
Pick, burn, cry!
Cry, fly, chop!
Pick, burn 'n' cry!
Fly, chop, choke!
Pick burnin' cry fly, chop choke!
I am a masta, and you!?

To view the lyrics, click on the [Show] tag on the right.

Chop Chop Master Onion
Kick! Punch! You all remember!
Chop chop back again, yes, forever!
You have many challenges comin' at ya!
First is a fire, don't retire, now!
Pick!
Burn!
Slide!
And down!
Again now!
Pick!
Burn!
Slide!
And down!
Listen to me now as I do my chore!
Nobody ever talks to me no more!
But if a baby were to come, crying out loud,
Do you think you can play and calm it down?
Or if you're on a plane, how would you play?
Throttle up and down, or away?
I just wanna know, can you really go,
With that guitar in hand, I don't know!
Comin' at ya!
Fly high!
Sky high!
Cry loud!
Shut up!
Fly, cry!
Pick, burn!
Pick, cry!
And fly, down!
Shake it to the right, shake it to the left!
I be the only masta that will give
All the necessary skills to build a guitar,
So you can play in an island, you come far!
Chop, that wood!
Choke, real good!
Pick, chop, burn!
Cry, fly, choke!
Burn, cry, slide!
Chop, pick, fly!
Choke, fly, pick!
Cry, chop, down! Ha ha,
Pick, burn, cry!
Cry, fly, chop!
Pick, burn 'n' cry!
Fly, chop, choke!
Pick burnin' cry fly, chop choke!
I am a masta, and you!?

To view the lyrics, click on the [Show] tag on the right.

Chop Chop Master Onion
Kick! Punch! You all remember!
Chop chop back again, yes, forever!
You have many challenges comin' at ya!
First is a fire, don't retire, now!
Chop Chop Master Onion
Pick!
PaRappa
Pick!
Burn!
Burn!
Slide!
Slide!
And down!
Down!
Chop Chop Master Onion
Again now!
Chop Chop Master Onion
Pick!
PaRappa
Pick!
Burn!
Burn!
Slide!
Slide!
And down!
Down!
Chop Chop Master Onion
Listen to me now as I do my chore!
Nobody ever talks to me no more!
But if a baby were to come, crying out loud,
Do you think you could play and calm it down?
Or if you're on a plane, how would you play?
Throttle up and down, or away?
I just wanna know, can you really go,
With that guitar in hand, I don't know!
Comin' at ya!
Chop Chop Master Onion
Fly high!
PaRappa
Fly high!
Sky high!
Sky high!
Cry loud!
Cry loud!
Shut up!
Shut up!
Fly, cry!
Fly, cry!
Pick, burn!
Pick, burn!
Pick, cry!
Pick, cry!
And fly, down!
Fly, down!
Chop Chop Master Onion
Shake it to the right, shake it to the left!
I be the only masta that will give
All the necessary skills to build a guitar,
So you can play in hell, you come far!
Chop Chop Master Onion
Chop,
PaRappa
Chop!
Chop Chop Master Onion
That wood!
Chop Chop Master Onion
Choke,
PaRappa
Choke!
Chop Chop Master Onion
Real good!
Chop Chop Master Onion
Pick, chop, burn!
PaRappa
Pick, chop, burn!
Cry, fly, choke!
Cry, fly, choke!
Burn, cry, slide!
Burn, cry, slide!
Chop, pick, fly!
Chop, pick, fly!
Choke, fly, pick!
Choke, fly, pick!
Cry, chop, down!
Cry, chop, down!
Chop Chop Master Onion
Ha ha,
Chop Chop Master Onion
Pick, burn, cry!
PaRappa
Pick, burn, cry!
Cry, fly, chop!
Cry, fly, chop!
Pick, burn 'n' cry!
Pick, burn 'n' cry!
Fly, chop, choke!
Fly, chop, choke!
Pick burnin' cry fly, chop choke!
Pick burnin' cry fly, chop choke!
I am a masta, and you!?
I am a masta, and you!?

To view the lyrics, click on the [Show] tag on the right.

Chop Chop Master Onion
Kick! Punch! You all remember!
Chop chop back again, yes, forever!
You have many challenges comin' at ya!
First is a fire, don't retire, now!
Chop Chop Master Onion
Pick!
PaRappa
Pick!
Burn!
Burn!
Slide!
Slide!
And down!
Down!
Chop Chop Master Onion
Again now!
Chop Chop Master Onion
Pick!
PaRappa
Pick!
Burn!
Burn!
Slide!
Slide!
And down!
Down!
Chop Chop Master Onion
Listen to me now as I do my chore!
Nobody ever talks to me no more!
But if a baby were to come, crying out loud,
Do you think you could play and calm it down?
Or if you're on a plane, how would you play?
Throttle up and down, or away?
I just wanna know, can you really go,
With that guitar in hand, I don't know!
Comin' at ya!
Chop Chop Master Onion
Fly high!
PaRappa
Fly high!
Sky high!
Sky high!
Cry loud!
Cry loud!
Shut up!
Shut up!
Fly, cry!
Fly, cry!
Pick, burn!
Pick, burn!
Pick, cry!
Pick, cry!
And fly, down!
Fly, down!
Chop Chop Master Onion
Shake it to the right, shake it to the left!
I be the only masta that will give
All the necessary skills to build a guitar,
So you can play in an island, you come far!
Chop Chop Master Onion
Chop,
PaRappa
Chop!
Chop Chop Master Onion
That wood!
Chop Chop Master Onion
Choke,
PaRappa
Choke!
Chop Chop Master Onion
Real good!
Chop Chop Master Onion
Pick, chop, burn!
PaRappa
Pick, chop, burn!
Cry, fly, choke!
Cry, fly, choke!
Burn, cry, slide!
Burn, cry, slide!
Chop, pick, fly!
Chop, pick, fly!
Choke, fly, pick!
Choke, fly, pick!
Cry, chop, down!
Cry, chop, down!
Chop Chop Master Onion
Ha ha,
Chop Chop Master Onion
Pick, burn, cry!
PaRappa
Pick, burn, cry!
Cry, fly, chop!
Cry, fly, chop!
Pick, burn 'n' cry!
Pick, burn 'n' cry!
Fly, chop, choke!
Fly, chop, choke!
Pick burnin' cry fly, chop choke!
Pick burnin' cry fly, chop choke!
I am a masta, and you!?
I am a masta, and you!?

In-Level Dialogue[]

Chop Chop Master Onion Acha? If I'm not a star, it's no fun for me.

Chop Chop Master Onion kicks the walls and ceiling off of the room.

Chop Chop Master Onion ATCHOO! HATA! HIYAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

Chop Chop Master Onion Hey, hey, hey! You're bad! I'm the star, after all.

End of Level Dialogue[]

Solo[]

Chop Chop Master Onion Ha, Lammy, look what you're holding in your hand.

It is revealed that Lammy wasn't holding her guitar, and was instead holding a vacuum cleaner.

Lammy I don't know. What is it?

Chop Chop Master Onion Lammy, I'm so proud of you. If it was a guitar you're holding.

It is revealed that Lammy wasn't holding her guitar, and was instead holding a vacuum cleaner.

Lammy Huh? What do you mean?

Chop Chop Master Onion Again.

Lammy Wh-wh-what a nightmare!

Chop Chop Master Onion Ha, look what you're holding in your hand.

It is revealed that PaRappa was holding a vacuum cleaner. He sighs.

PaRappa Teacher, what is this?

Chop Chop Master Onion PaRappa, I'm so proud of you. Congratulations.

PaRappa Yeah! By the way, how have you been, teacher?

Chop Chop Master Onion Again.

PaRappa What a nightmare!

Co-op (Um Jammer Lammy NOW!)[]

Chop Chop Master Onion Ha, look what you're holding in your hand.

It is revealed that Lammy and Rammy were holding vacuum cleaners.

Lammy I don't know. What is it?

Rammy I know, I know.

Chop Chop Master Onion I'm so proud of you. Congratulations.

Lammy I know I jammed!!

Rammy We both jammed!

Chop Chop Master Onion Again.

Lammy Wh-wh-what a nightmare!

Rammy I don't wanna be banned!

Chop Chop Master Onion Ha, look what you're holding in your hand.

It is revealed that Lammy and PaRappa were holding vacuum cleaners.

Lammy I don't know.

PaRappa What is this?

Chop Chop Master Onion I'm so proud of you. If it was a guitar you're holding.

Lammy What do you mean??

PaRappa By the way, how have you been, teacher?

Chop Chop Master Onion Again.

PaRappa & Lammy What a nightmare!

VS (Um Jammer Lammy NOW!)[]

Chop Chop Master Onion The wiener is you. Happy new year!

Lammy Thanks! Rock 'n' Roll!!

Rammy OK... you win. I guess I'll just go back to hell now.

Chop Chop Master Onion The wiener is you. Happy new year!

Lammy Thanks! Rock 'n' Roll!!

Rammy OK... you win. I guess I'll just go home now.

Chop Chop Master Onion The wiener is you. Happy new year!

Rammy So when do you plan to be a better guitarist??

Lammy 2 bummers for me... bummer, bummer...

Chop Chop Master Onion The wiener is you. Happy new year!

Lammy Thanks! Rock 'n' Roll!!

PaRappa Aw fiddlesticks! I should've known better...

Chop Chop Master Onion The wiener is you. Happy new year!

PaRappa 2 cheers for me! Hoo rah! Hoo rah!

Lammy 2 bummers for me... bummer, bummer...

Fever Mode Codes[]

Main article: Um Jammer Lammy#Fever Mode

When in Cool mode, you can start Fever Mode by inputting these codes to the beat of the song. For sake of clarity, △ represents the triangle button, 〇 represents the circle button, ☐ represents the square button, ✕ represents the X button, L represents the L1 button, R represents the R1 button, and • represents a beat.

Triangle[]

• △ △ • △ R • •

Square[]

• ☐ ☐ 〇 • ☐ ☐ •

Circle[]

• 〇 • 〇 R 〇 〇 •

X[]

✕ ☐ △ 〇 • ✕ ☐

L1[]

• L • R • R ☐ •

R1[]

• R R R R • • •

Trivia[]

  • Although PaRappa doesn't have the option to play this stage, his version is still in the soundtrack, with the exact same lyrics and instrumental as Lammy's version.
    • PaRappa's version can be played in-game using glitches or hacks, but the scene will be locked up in a state with many characters and the camera not moving at all due to the lack of data for animations.
      • It can also be accessed legitimately in Um Jammer Lammy NOW!, fully functional with animations and even a VS and Team mode.
    • A common rumor among fans was that PaRappa was going to be holding a feather duster rather than the vacuum cleaner like Lammy.
  • Lammy's flashback is notably Instructor Mooselini and Cheap Cheap's last appearances in the games, excluding their cameos in PlayStation All-Stars Battle Royale.
  • The last two lines have the same tune to "Shave and a haircut, two bits."
  • Chop Chop Master Onion appears to be growing his stem during the cutscene.
  • Chop Chop Master Onion's failure quote is the same as in PaRappa the Rapper, even doing the same pose while saying it.
  • Chop Chop Master Onion foreshadows every future Stage in the game (Excluding Stage 7) in the lyrics.
    • The line "First is a fire, don't retire, now" references Stage 2.
    • The lines "But if a baby were to come, crying out loud," and "Do you think you can play and calm it down?" reference Stage 3.
    • The lines "Or if you're on a plane, how would you play?" and "Throttle up and down, or away?" reference Stage 4.
    • The lines "I be the only masta that will give" and "All the necessary skills to build a guitar," reference Stage 5.
    • The line "So you can play in hell, you come far!" references Stage 6.
      • In the American release, this line is changed to "So you can play in an island, you come far!"
      • The wavy screen during BAD and AWFUL mode represents Lammy/PaRappa/Rammy's nightmare.

References[]

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